Mending Past Mistakes
by juicy-calamari
Summary: Moff and Dade find something in common. Referenced one-sided Moff/Irving, eventual BunnyBeaks.
1. Cognizance

**i guess i'm writing fanfiction for harvey beaks now, i guess this is just what my life has become**

 **here's a healthy dose of "unnecessarily dissecting nickelodeon characters and also projecting onto them to no end". its gonna be multi-chapter cause i feel it's a little too long for a one shot**

 **also special thanks to Darkwingsnark on Tumblr who inspired this fic in the first place!**

 **enjoy**

* * *

One knock, no answer. Another knock- this time, more impatient, more fervent.

It was approaching the later hours of afternoon and the shadows began to get longer with every passing minute. Orange light cast itself against the harsh silhouettes of pine trees.

Dade's smile wore thin as he raised his fist to the door a third time, only to be met with the knob jiggling erratically. Moff peered out, his top hat and goggles slightly displaced. He held a baseball bat in one hand defensively.

"Can I help you?" The offer rolled off his tongue as sharp.

"Sorry to interrupt your, uh, daily routine, Mr. Moff sir," Dade said. "Is Harvey here? His mom mentioned something about you babysitting today."

"Harvey?" Moff asked with a sneer. A slight look of familiarity crossed his face. Wearily, he placed the bat down against the door frame. "Oh, you mean Irving's boy? Yeah, the kid ran off with his little gremlin friends about a half-hour ago. Can't tell you where they went because I didn't care enough to ask."

Dade glowered. "Rats! I just got this new board-game in the mail- _Chutes and Ladders and also Jesus_ ™ - and Harvey agreed to be the first person to play with me! He's gonna be impossible to track down now that those heathens are dragging him all over the place."

"Fascinating dilemma you have on your hands," Moff droned. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door stubbornly. "Now, run along now. Don't touch any of my antiques on your way out."

Antiques? Dade had merely assumed all the clutter in his yard was just a load of garbage being prepared for the dump. Regardless, he complied with Moff's commands and paced down the steps. He started towards an opening in the woods when he heard a muffled cough.

"Hey... hold on a minute."

Curious, Dade swerved around. He was greeted with the sight of Moff nervously toying with one of the ends of his mustache.

"Say... I've been wondering..." he started uncertainly. "Is there... something _with_ you and him?"

"Excuse me?" Him and Harvey? Something _with_ them?

"Not to stick my antennas where they don't belong or anything, but whenever I go into town, I always see you glued to that bulbous-headed kid. I'm at the library, picking up my neo-Victorian novels? You're there too, reading books along with him. I head to the beach to get my annual 45 minutes of sunlight, you two are there sharing ice-cream with each other. And now look at you!" Moff gestured to him for emphasis. "You're at my door for the eleventh time this month, checking in and seeing if the boy is at my residence."

Dade stood there speechless for a second. He wasn't sure he had heard it right.

"Well, of course! Harvey and I are friends, the BEST of friends, why wouldn't we be hanging out constantly? I-I mean, that's what buds do 24/7, right?" Dade hesitated for a moment. "You haven't been talking to Mikey, have you?"

Moff raised an eyebrow. "Best friends, you say? You don't... LIKE the boy, do you?"

" _L-like him_?" Dade repeated. His cheeks burning at what he could only deem were accusations. Blatant character defamation. "What are you trying to say?"

This response seemed to kill his interest. Moff took a step back and gripped the door, wanting to put an end to the conversation immediately. The front door began to close.

"Nothing, never-mind, get off my property, bye-bye now-" Dade jammed his foot in before it was able to shut completely.

"W-w-wait, why do you want to know? Not that I'm saying there's anything... a-anything there...!" Dade wasn't sure why this talk was making his insides feel like Jello.

The door creaked open a bit as Moff bent down to his level. Dade recoiled. From the close proximity, the man reeked of mothballs and grease... not the most pleasant combination. Dusting aside a pile of dirt on his porch, he retrieved a small, grimy gear and thumbed it (almost... affectionately?) as he spoke.

"My boy, life can sometimes present you... opportunities... Opportunities in which you may be afraid to take!"

His face contorted into an unreadable expression. "If you're too afraid to even try, you'll never know if they'll work out for you in the end, and instead of living a happy life filled with the company of loved ones, you replace people with gears. Lots of gears."

He paused, his gloved hand clenched around the old gear in his palm. Dade was unsure whether this was for dramatic effect or not.

"But gears are not people, kid. Gears will never fill the void in your life of that missed opportunity."

"Uh... you lost me with the 'gears' thing."

All of a sudden, Moff shook his head and stuck the gear into his front coat pocket.

"All depressing Steampunk analogies aside, if you feel... a certain way towards this boy, just tell him. Trust me, it's for the best." Before Dade could deny anything further, Moff retreated into the refuge of his own home. Dade heard the distinctive _click_ of bolts locking and sighed.

The exchange left a sour feeling in his mouth for whatever reason. He felt weirdly uncomfortable with the idea of tracking down Harvey now and he couldn't place why.

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Just tell him._

The sweltering summer-night heat circulated around the bedroom Dade shared with ten of his other siblings. No AC- his mother had called in a guy to fix it for next Monday. Generally, the mugginess didn't bother him. He'd quickly doze off into a heavy slumber after brushing his teeth and prayers and that'd be the end of it. However, that night, Dade felt like sleep was a goal impossible to achieve.

Moff's advice periodically repeated itself in his brain; taunting him, almost.

The implications were what made him most upset.

He didn't have a crush on Harvey, he _couldn't_. He just... enjoys Harvey's company immensely and craves contact with him at all times. Yeah. That's reasonable, right? Best friends enjoy spending time with each other and also wanting to kiss is normal. _Right?_

Dade flopped over on his other side, balling the covers up to his now-heaving chest. This was the time to think rationally, not the time to panic and jump to conclusions.

As hard as he tried to force the fear down, they ended up multiplying at an uncontrollable rate. Anxiety bubbled within the pit of his stomach. If Dade were to like Harvey, it would be going against every ethic that had been pounded into his head since birth. The fact that he could envision the disapproving glares of his parents so easily frightened him even more.

 _Just tell him._

But even disregarding the fact that his family would practically disown him, what would Harvey think? Harvey liked him as a close friend, Dade knew that much for sure, but anything beyond?

Worst case-scenarios ran rampant. Harvey could find his crush off-putting and forever think of Dade as creepy, or he could already have a crush on some unknown girl in Littlebark Grove, or possibly worst of all... he considers Dade like a brother to him. A _brother_!

Dade swiped his forehead with the back of his hand, feeling the gross dampness of sweat in his fur. His head was reeling. He became hyper-aware of the presence of his younger siblings in that moment, almost fearing that they could hear his thoughts from how loud they sounded, rattling around in his brain.

Why did these things bother him so impossibly much? Why did the idea of just being friends with Harvey suddenly seem unappealing to him? He's been fine with it for most of his life! What more could he possibly want?

 _ **Just tell him.**_

Dade dreaded the realization as soon as it hit him. Moff was right. His completely off-the-wall assumption was actually right. He _did_ feel something for Harvey that was unique to just him. Now that the feelings had been identified, it'd be hard to go back to normal; to approach the friendship with regular causality would be a disservice to not only him but also Harvey. It'd feel too dirty to Dade, lying and acting like everything was okay when it was really the opposite.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

He knew Harvey! Harvey was understanding, and kind, and a being of perfect goodness- he'd handle it okay! He wouldn't hold it against him if the feelings weren't mutual.

In that moment, Dade decided he would tell Harvey about it.

Figuring out how and when would be the hard part.


	2. The Mutual Understanding

**thanks for the nice reviews so far! admittedly, this story is kind of OOC in the way that i don't really think moff would care if some kid would end up as miserable as he is. i tried to make it as believable as possible with these characters in mind but i officially declare that this story takes place in a "moff isn't a huge jerk" AU**

* * *

It was approaching noon the day after... The Horrible and also Terrifying Realization, as Dade phrased it to himself. Kids were chanting and squealing, throwing food at each other rather than eating it, and usually Dade would be the one to scold everyone for their misbehavior but he was too busy dwelling on the previous night. The temperatures had dropped slightly but the welcomed weather change had done nothing to put him at ease.

He hadn't seen Harvey all day (or the twins, for that matter) and for once, he was glad. He had an inkling that seeing him in his current state of mind would do nothing but deter him from confessing even more.

It wasn't the slight chilled breeze that had silenced the thoughts swimming around in Dade's head, but, rather, a voice:

"Is there something wrong, Dade? You haven't touched your peanut-butter and jelly."

Dade snapped out of his contemplation to find Claire sitting on the bench next to him, peering into his lunchbox. He quickly recovered from his surprise and waved the fox girl off nonchalantly.

"Thank-you for your concern but I'm fine, Claire."

She adjusted her glasses, a suspicious look crossing her face. "You seem awfully interested in that tree over there... and also, 'I'm fine' is what my mom says whenever she gets home from marital counseling with Dr. Kaltz, and I don't ever think she's fine-"

"I said _I'm fine_ ," he repeated, more agitated. Mentally, he begged her to just drop it.

Claire decided not to probe further and she changed the subject. "Hey, are you gonna enter that writing competition thing that the library's hosting?"

That caught his attention. Dade's ears perked up.

"What competition?"

Reaching into the front pocket of her dress, Claire managed to fish out a neatly-folded piece of beige paper. Curiously, Dade took it and unfolded it.

"There's this contest for kids in the area to submit a piece of writing- you know, like narrative or poetry- and the winner gets a hundred dollars AND the chance to read their work on-stage! No specific requirements, it just has to be your own work and all." Her words corresponded with what was on the flyer. Dade's eyes were drawn to the bold phrase next to the little pencil clip-art that distinctly named next Monday as the due date for submissions. _Just four days from now._

She tucked a brown strand of hair behind her ear and looked away shyly. "I really wasn't interested in participating, cause I like my writing private, but apparently my sisters have won first place all of the years they were eligible and my mom says-"

Hastily shoveling his food back into his lunchbox, Dade waddled off in the direction of Moff's house. The flyer was still in his hand. "Thanks Claire, see you later!" he called out.

"Wait, Dade! That's the only flyer I-" Claire sighed suddenly, defeated. "Always happy to help."

* * *

.

.

.

He pounded on the door with his free hand.

"Moff! _Moff!_ "

"Who in the- oh. It's you," Moff greeted. He didn't appear at all shocked to see him on his doorstep, yet again. "Rabbit... boy."

Dade's grip tightened around the handle of his lunchbox, as well as the beige paper. He ignored the slight feeling of bile rising in his throat. "I... I thought about what you said before. You know, about the thing. And I need to talk to you... but first, you need to promise not to tell my mom."

Moff scoffed, but stepped aside. Dade took this as Moff's way as a welcome into his house and stepped inside. Hesitantly, he took a seat on the leather couch that laid parallel to Moff's TV set. Moff did not sit next to him, deciding to linger by the door instead.

"I don't even know what your name is, how could I possibly know your mother?"

"Fair point," Dade admitted. His voice was already hoarse. Why was he so nervous about just saying it aloud? "O-okay so I... I guess you could s-say... I like Harvey."

Moff's aloofness seemed to vanish at that point as he fist-pumped in the air, grinning.

"Aha! So I was right!" he exclaimed. Dade stared at the man, his mouth agape.

"Yeah b-but... how? I didn't even know it myself!"

"Intuition, my dear boy! It's a powerful tool if you know how to use it."

Without warning, Dade jumped to his feet, completely disregarding his lunchbox and flyer. He didn't feel himself do it. All he knew was that he felt the urge to start pacing. He grabbed his ears and pulled them in front of his face in attempt to cover up the fact that he was blushing.

"I... I can't believe all of this is happening," he spluttered. "I didn't think... I mean, I knew I liked him a lot, like A LOT A LOT, but I just thought that's how you felt towards best friends! Honest! I never... I didn't mean to crush on him on purpose or anything."

Uncomfortable, Moff rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to have more on his mind than he was letting on.

"Ah... let me be real with you for a second- you see, bunny boy, I was in your shoes once."

That stopped Dade right in his tracks. He peered at Moff from across the living room, interest piqued. "In what way?"

"I had certain... unrequited feelings for a Beaks fellow."

"You mean, you liked _Mr. Beaks?_ "

Moff nodded his head, a bitter glint in his goggles. "Irving and I- we were close friends as children. Best of friends, you could say."

"What happened that made things go so south?" Dade hadn't noticed the implication until it had left his mouth. "Er, no offense."

"None taken. I'm aware that this is not the ideal lifestyle for any up and coming young man such as yourself," he sighed. He made his way to the window, avoiding eye-contact. "I didn't know what I was feeling until it was too late. Irving had already gotten married by the time I realized it."

"You mean, you don't even know if he would've felt the same or not? You never confronted him about it?"

"How could I? We had already grown apart by then. Was I to go up to his doorstep and say, 'hey, I know you have a wife and child now and all, but do you mind leaving all of that behind to pursue a relationship with me?'? No. He has his family, I have my antique collection and anime box-sets. That's just the way things turned out for us."

"That's so _sad!_ Again... no offense."

Moff turned from the window and met Dade's gaze. "I recognized this situation the moment I saw you and his kid. It made me queasy, to be quite honest with you, the thought of history repeating itself. I don't want another young lad to go through what I experienced! So that's why I decided to say something. I debated it, thinking that my instinct may have been wrong, thinking I might have been assuming too much," he explained. "But alas, I ended up being correct. As always. It's a gift and a curse!"

Dade pondered this information for a moment. It all seemed to add up.

"I remember what you said about the whole 'telling him' thing and I think I know just how to do it. You wouldn't mind helping me, would you?" he asked.

"Does your plan involve me getting into a Cupid costume?"

"No."

"Then I wouldn't mind hearing it."

Dade unfolded the flyer and smoothed it out on the coffee table before them. "This is it."

Moff's lip curled up in a sneer. "You intend on wooing the boy with a gross, wrinkled-up piece of paper?"

"There's a writing competition going on. Winner gets to read their piece out-loud! And some money as an award and junk, but I just care about the reading part."

"What do you want me to do?"

"You know... I need some adult assistance from someone who _isn't_ my mom. I dunno, maybe you can spellcheck it or something?"

Moff let out an exaggerated groan. "Don't you kids have like, the Internets for that kind of stuff?"

"I thought you said you could help!"

"Alright, alright, _fine_. I'll be of assistance in your little poem. But if you win, I get 50% of the prize money, got it? It's a small price to pay for me saving your future." _Or potentially ruining it._

Dade extended his hand out, finalizing the offer.

"Deal?"

Moff shook it heartily.

"Deal. Meet me back here at two o' clock on the morrow."

"Yes, sir."

Gathering up his things, Dade retreated to the front porch once more. Moff followed him, arms folded behind his back. He held the door, allowing some semblance of a smile to cross his lips.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to."

With that, the door slammed in his face. Dade was beginning to wonder why God had left him with Moff as the only person to understand his dilemma.

Of all the people in Littlebark Grove, why did it have to be _Moff?_


	3. And No Progress was Made

**don't worry, harvey is in this fic too lol**

 **and some fee/dade relationship stuff is gonna be explored! i love their dynamic and think it would be really interesting, given the circumstances that she finds out that dade likes harvey**

* * *

 _"Special Friend"_

 _The boy I see every day,_

 _I suddenly don't know what to say_

 _How is he able to make my day?_

 _He makes my heart beat with some delay_

 _I'm starting to think I might be-_

A pounding on Dade's bedroom door made the pencil fly out of his hand. He briskly covered the sheet of notebook paper with an open Kid's First Bible and spun around in his office chair, pretending to be interrupted from his reading. "U-uh... yes?"

"Hey doofus, Mom says that dinner's ready!" Dade let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. It was just Wade.

"Tell her I'll be there in a minute," he replied. He waited until he heard the sound of light footsteps walking away before he figured the coast was clear.

Filing the bible away in his desk drawer, Dade scanned the paper once more. What attempt was this? He hadn't been writing for long, but it still felt like the fiftieth try. It turns out, the words were a lot more excruciating to read than they were to write. Haphazard notes were scrawled in the margins of the paper, consuming any and all free space on the paper. Synonyms and rhyming phrases were crossed out as well as circled. It made the actual poem look like a mess. It suffocated his words. Suffocated _him_.

He growled out of frustration, crumpling it up and tossing it over his bed.

"Special friend"? What was he _thinking?_ He was trying to break it to Harvey as delicately as possible, not make himself out to be even more of a creep than he already felt like he was! And, he realized, he was going to read this aloud. In front of people besides Harvey. And directly incriminating himself in a poem the whole town could potentially hear was not a good starting point of coming out.

Dade slammed his head against his desk. Agony. Pure agony. Shouldn't he be feeling like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders, like a life-long burden was suddenly cleared off his conscious? Why was this seemingly simple feat so difficult to accomplish?

He could only pray that Moff knew how to help.

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Riiiiip._ The tear of another page out of the notepad grated Dade's ears. It crunched in Moff's gloved fist for a moment, before it was added to the growing mound on the couch. This was not going as smoothly as Dade hoped it would.

"No, no no. You're going about this _completely_ the wrong way!" Moff scolded, scanning the next draft.

Dade rolled his eyes. "And how would _you_ write the poem, Mr. Moff?"

"I wouldn't write a rhyming poem, first off, because rhyming poems are boring and lame."

"Mmm-hm."

The notepad was discarded onto the coffee table.

"If I were doing it for Irving, I would construct an epic ballad where I- mayor of a Steampunk-inspired town- officially get together with Irving and we- power couple of said Steampunk-inspired town- ban anyone who might come between us to a reject-like town, full of Steampunk-inspired peasants." He looked pensive for a second, twirling his mustache. "May or may not include singing," he added.

Dade was starting to get the feeling that Moff wasn't actually any help.

" _That_ sounds boring and lame," he insisted.

Moff huffed defensively. "Is not!"

"Look, we could argue all day about what format of writing is the best, but at the end of it all, I can only write poems. They're easy and I can get one done within the next couple of days."

"Whatever. Just be lazy and earn an honorable mention."

Dade gathered the mountain of paper balls in his arms and made his way towards a garbage bin. 'Collaborating' with Moff seemed a lot easier in theory. For a grown man, he sure acted like a stubborn kid at times. Most times, actually.

"Anyways," he started, attempting to steer them back on track. "I just wanna know how I can get my feelings across without explicitly stating them."

"Have you thought of constructing a metaphor, my boy?" Immediately, Dade remembered Moff's monologue from when they first got into this mess. He glowered at the man.

"I told you, _no more_ steampunk analogies-"

A sharp chime of the doorbell broke through their conversation. The air between them was suddenly tense and thick.

 _"Hey Moff! It's Harvey!"_ Harvey's voice pierced the door from outside. Other voices soon joined in before they were allowed time to react.

 _"Yeah Moff, let us in, dude!"_

 _"I didn't eat any of your antiques this time! You can test me!"_

Easily recognized, the other two voices were identified as the twins. After exchanging horrified glances with Moff, Dade found the strength to speak.

"You... you set me up, didn't you?" he accused, thrusting a finger in Moff's face accusingly. He scrambled off the couch. "You _knew_ he was gonna be here!"

Moff threw his hands up. "I didn't know!" he exclaimed. "I swear on my highly valuable ultra-expensive collection of top-hats, I'm telling you the truth!"

 _"Uh, Moff?"_

From how it sounded, Harvey and the twins were right outside the door; no doubt they had heard some of the commotion from inside. This would be heard to explain away.

Moff and Dade hunched down, out of view from the window. They huddled together.

"Maybe he and the gremlins didn't hear our squabble...?" Moff whispered. Dade fought the need to roll his eyes again.

"They did and now they think you're talking to yourself," Dade muttered, crawling over to retrieve the notepad. He stuffed it under one of the couch cushions, figuring it'd make an okay hiding place. "Just let them in already."

With a quick nod, Moff was back on his feet. There was a particular quirk in his stride as he made his way to the front door.

He flashed a forced toothy smile as they sauntered in. "Hello Irving's son and Irving's son's friends! Pleased to have you within my residence!"

Fee and Foo looked at each other, puzzled, but Harvey's grin remained the same.

"Hi, is everything okay in h-" His eyes wandered over to the couch, where Dade was trying his best to remain casual. It proved harder than expected, as even the feeling of Harvey's gaze on him made his cheeks burn. He hoped that Fee and Foo were about as unobservant as Harvey was.

"Oh! Hey Dade!" Harvey said with a wave.

He couldn't find it in him to actually look at Harvey. He settled on looking at the picture frame next to him, instead.

"H-hi, Harvey." Harvey's smile wilted, only slightly.

"'Sup Dade," Fee greeted. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be yelling at ants march in a straight line or something?" _Shut up shut up shut up._

"Hehe, yeah, _ants!_ "

"They didn't mean that," Harvey declared. "But... why ARE you here?"

An exceedingly awful situation was somehow getting worse. They hadn't had the time nor the forethought to come up with an excuse for why Dade would be here!

"I... Uh..." _Moff, please say something. Come up with something. ANYTHING._

"The boy needed help with some math homework!" _Anything but that._

Dade cast a stern glare at Moff, who merely half-shrugged in response. Didn't he know that they weren't in school at the moment? Could he have really just blurted out the dumbest, least-solid excuse possible. The other kids were completely baffled. "Math... homework?" Foo asked.

Moff seemed to want to roll with it. It had already left his mouth, there was no turning back now. "Yes, yes," he replied, gesturing with his hands. "The ovals and eclipses and whattnot."

Blank expressions all around.

"Well," Harvey started, slowly. Agonizingly slowly. "I guess that makes sense. We should probably leave you guys to that."

Dade almost laughed. He was flabbergasted- they were actually _buying_ this? Well, maybe not all three of them, but if Harvey insisted something, the twins most likely wouldn't make a fuss about it. He only hoped that they would leave before either Fee or Foo opened their big mouth and started causing trouble...

They were on their way before Harvey turned around.

"Oh! By the way," he added. "Did you ever get that board-game in the mail?"

Dade felt that there was no need to lie to him.

"Yes." _Please just go, please just go._

"Don't you wanna play it with me some-"

"No," he answered. As soon as he saw Harvey's smile disappear completely, his stomach churned with guilt. "I'm busy right now. Maybe later. Thanks though."

This response seemed to go over well enough, as Harvey joined up with the twins and scurried with them into the denser part of the woods.

"Be good now, children!"Moff called out. "See you some other time, perhaps."

The front door was closed once more. Dade felt like he was about to collapse.

"'Math homework', Moff? _Really?!_ "

* * *

.

.

"Dude. There's something going on."

"Huh?"

Harvey glanced up from the pile of grass he plucked from out of the ground to see Fee perched on a rock. She seemed to be fixated on something back in the woods.

"Didja see the way that Moff and Dade looked at each other? Didja hear how they _spoke?_ And that excuse was total hogwash! We don't even have school, it's summer break," she explained. "I know lying like the back of my hand. Those two are hiding something from one of us, Harvey."

"What? No way! My birthday isn't until like 6 months from now... unless... You think they're planning the party in advance?"

Fee couldn't help but become aggravated by her friend's blatant obliviousness. Still, she tried to convince him delicately.

"I don't think they're hiding that kind of thing. I think they've got a little secret between the two of 'em."

"That's bonkers, Fee. I mean, he acts weird sometimes but Dade doesn't keep secrets from me. He's like my best friend... Besides you guys, of course." Fee's skeptical expression pressed on. Harvey continued to justify his actions. "We've known each other for an eternity! No secrets."

"I don't trust him," Fee stated flatly, allowing her body to ease down the rock. Foo's head popped out of the ground.

"I think he should eat dirt," he chimed in. The fur around his face was caked with mud, as he had been digging for the past 20 minutes.

Fee nodded, pointing to her brother. "Foo gets it."

"You guys!" Harvey yelled, becoming flustered. "He's not hiding anything, okay?! I'd know."

Fee let out a small sigh.

"If you say so, dude."

She decided on a whim that it wasn't worth arguing about. Harvey would be persistent of Dade's innocence unless sufficient proof was provided.

That merely meant that she would have to find evidence _without_ his help.


	4. A Change in Heart

**_"DADE'S PROBLEM"_**

 _I like Harvey_

 _I like Harvey_

 _I like Harvey_

 _I like Harvey_

 _I like Harvey_

 _I like Har-_

CRUMPLE. CRUMPLE.

Into the nearest garbage can it went.

Instead of progressing, Dade's writing skills seemed to be deteriorating over the past couple of days. Even when completely surrounded by the shelves full of the greatest books ever written, even after flipping through page after page after page of William Wordsworth... not an ounce of inspiration hit him. No sudden jolt of creativity. Writing a poem was a lot easier in concept than it was in practice, it seemed. And it wasn't as if he wasn't trying! He had been spending nearly every waking moment at the Little Bark Library, trying to get a solid first draft on paper.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to write such personal, heart-wrenching confessions in the middle of a public place, where his friends frequented, where the subject of said personal heart-wrenching confessions' _mom_ works (maybe if she was stocking shelves and peeked over his shoulder, she'd assume he was talking about a different Harvey?), but oddly enough, Dade found that he was starting to not care.

The weight of the competition's deadline was starting to crush him, and at this point, he was becoming desperate for something, _anything_ to hit him with the right sense of motivation.

After all, Monday was just around the corner.

* * *

.

.

.

"Is he gone yet?" No response.

"...Foo?"

Fee popped her head out of the potted plant she hid in, leaves ensnared in her unruly pink hair. She surveyed the area for any sign of her brother before spotting him in the checkout-line, library book in hand.

Fee snatched the book out of his grasp, seething.

"Foo! You were supposed to be on the look out for _suspicious activity!_ " she scolded, hands on her hips.

"I know, but I found this cool book on rock formations in the Midwest and-"

His sister waved him off. "No no, never-mind. I think I saw him crumple up a piece of paper and throw it away, anyways." The twins craned their necks to see a vacant seat; the very same one Dade had sat in all day.

Both twins exchanged glances. Fee ran at it with a start, exclaiming, "I'll do it!"

Foo, however, shrugged it off and returned to his reading, moving in line with the other kids.

Fee dug through the garbage can, discarding empty coffee cups and banana peels before laying eyes on a paper ball. Eagerly, she unfolded it and indulged in its' contents. Her jaw dropped. After about ten seconds of disbelief, Fee recovered, finally finding the ability to speak.

"No. Way."

Foo raised an eyebrow, finally looking up from his book.

"Foo, you _gotta_ take a look at this. It says- Dade wrote-"

She suddenly erupted into a fit of laughter, tears spilling down her cheeks. She could hardly catch her breath enough to make a cohesive sentence with her words. This captured Foo's interest.

"Lemme read!" Foo's grubby orange hands tore the paper away from Fee as she doubled over, cackling. His eyes scanned the page, left to right, over and over again, and the anticipation wore away. The grin etched on his face had gradually disappeared.

"I don't... get it," he admitted, turning the page upside down and around as if attempting to decode a puzzle. "Is there somethin' else to this? What's so funny 'bout Dade liking Harvey?"

After wiping a tear from her eye, Fee turned to her brother with a toothy smile. "How come you're not laughing? It's _hilarious!_ C'mon, Foo. Can you even imagine the mileage we can get out of this? Just wait until the others know-"

"Why would we tell people?" Foo asked, genuinely confused. "That seems... mean."

"Uh, Foo. We're talking about Dade here. As in the kid that spends all of his time hating us and being a general jerkface?" Fee replied. She wrung her hands together, connivingly. "This is perfect. We get everyone in on the joke and the punk will never annoy us again."

Foo's frown made her feel a twinge of guilt. "Seems mean."

"It's not mean. It's called getting even," Fee proclaimed, crossing her arms defensively.

Foo returned to his book, turning it upside down. "Pretty mean way of getting even."

Fee bit back another defense and sighed.

"Ugh. Why do you have rare moments of being rational? You're no fun when you're like this," she uttered.

"At least I'm not mean."

"Will you shut it already? Alright, I won't make fun of Dade's crush on Harvey. You happy?"

Foo clutched the book to his chest. He pranced around excitedly. "Mmmmmmhm!"

Fee's shoulders drooped in defeat. The draft was hastily stuffed into her pocket. Only one thing left to do now, and it was the one thing she dreaded doing: straightening things out with the dork.

* * *

.

.

When Dade opened his front door the morning after the umpteenth poem failure, the one person he was _not_ expecting to see was Fee. She stood waiting expectantly, as if her arrival at his doorstep weren't a complete and total nonoccurrence.

She raised her hand in a little wave.

"Hey."

As soon as the shock wore off, suspicion took it's place. Dade narrowed his eyes.

"What are _you_ doing here? At my house?" he questioned, eyeing her up and down.

"Nice to see you too. But cut the annoying stuff, for once. I need to talk to you." Before Dade could react, Fee wormed her way past him, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him upstairs. She cut through hordes of his younger siblings and passed by his mother's bedroom (greeting her with a brief "hello Missus Dade's mom") before shoving Dade into the nearest coat closet. In the process, she locked the door and reached up to pull the light-bulb chord. The cramped room was lit with a _click._

Dade shifted uncomfortably against the array of coats and dresses he was pressed against. "H-hey, I didn't invite you to come inside! And you've never been in my house before! How could you possibly know your way around-" Fee cut him off with a finger to his lips. Dade squirmed at this action, as he didn't dare to imagine where her hands had been and how often she washes them. She looked around uneasily, making sure that no one was eavesdropping in on the conversation as if they were in public and not in a stuffy closet.

"Kay, so... I know about... the thing," she admitted, releasing Dade from her grasp.

He balled his hands up into fists, glaring. "You're going to have to be more specific than that."

Her expression shifted to one of extreme discomfort, signifying that this was _indeed_ going to be a painfully awkward talk. She rubbed her chin.

"Okay, lemme phrase this in the most delicate way I can... so, the fact that you wanna swap spit with Harvey?" Fee said, exemplifying exactly what she meant by motioning her hands to kiss. "Yeah, that's the thing I know about."

Dade felt sick once more. Whether it was with fear or rage or a combination of the two, he wasn't sure.

"Y-you... you have no basis on those accusations, and why would you say it like _that?_ IN MY HOUSE?!" he demanded, jabbing an accusatory finger against her chest. This, of course, was the only defense he had against her, albeit an extremely weak defense.

"Actually, I kinda do have bases or whatever it is you just said. Your handwriting don't lie, Dade." From her tattered dress she pulled out the failed draft and immediately Dade felt as though he were on the verge of crying. He collapsed to the ground as his legs couldn't support him any longer.

It was all over. Everything he had attempted to build up would be destroyed within seconds of Fee running her mouth and saying the wrong thing in front of Harvey.

"Please... _please_ don't tell anyone," he begged, hot tears threatening to spill down his face. He clung onto her legs desperately. "I'll do anything you want! Please, just keep it a secret!"

Rolling her eyes, Fee shook him off of her. "Don't start the waterworks on me, I'm not tellin'. Well, Foo knows too, but he's pretty good at keeping secrets."

Dade's mouth filled up with a bitter and metallic taste. He fought the need to gag at the knowledge of this new information.

"Oh, _of course,"_ he muttered, latching onto a raincoat for support as he stood back up. "Of course both of you know my deepest, darkest secret. It's only logical that fate would do this to me."

"Well, lemme get one thing straight: I don't really like you. But, with that bein' said, I don't hate you, either. I don't know how Harvey would react to this whole thing. I don't even know if you intend on telling him."

Dade opened his mouth to interject, but Fee kept going.

"But... I promise not to talk to him about it before you do... if you do end up telling. I'll take the secret to my grave if I gotta. I won't make fun of you for it either. And if you do tell Harvey... and the feelings are mutual, then I won't try to mess things you for you guys. And I'd be happy for Harvey."

For a second, Dade couldn't find the words to say. He felt a strange, unfamiliar sensation bubble up inside of him that... wasn't disgust, for once. All he was sure that it felt invigorating and it made him feel like he could write anything in that one moment. It was completely out of left-field, the emotion coming as a result from something Fee had said.

"Thank-you... Fee," he replied, softly.

Fee patted Dade on the back halfheartedly before opening up the closet door. "Just don't screw it up, butterball."

* * *

.

"You wanna know something funny I just realized?"

The rubbery squeaking of Moff polishing one of his antique table clocks stopped momentarily. Moff's goggles glinted in the sunlight from the window as he looked up.

"Hm? What would that be?" he asked. Dade shifted on the couch. The composition book in his sweaty hands remained unopened.

"If you had told Mr. Beaks how you felt, there's a chance he might have felt the same way and never met Mrs. Beaks and never had Harvey," Dade explained. "In a way, your failure had to happen for me to succeed."

Moff did not crack a smile at this.

"I was expecting a joke or a witty little anecdote. Not something completely and utterly depressing."

"I know. It's still weird though." Awkward silence (a reoccurring thing between Moff and Dade) filled the room between the soft _wirr_ of the ceiling fan suspended above them.

"...Hey, Moff?" The composition book felt heavy, sitting open in his lap. He set it on the coffee stand, free of its' daunting blank pages and high expectations for the time being.

"Yes?"

"Do you ever think you might tell him one day?"

Moff's brow furrowed. "Who, Irving? No, not a chance."

"But... doesn't it bother you?" Dade questioned, leaning forward in his seat. "...Not even knowing what Mr. Beaks would think?"

He resumed his polishing, methodically cleaning the hands of the clock. Dade wondered if this was his way of avoiding eye-contact. "It's irrelevant how Irving thinks now," Moff stated. "No matter his feelings on the situation, things will remain the same for me and for him. I wouldn't get any satisfaction from knowing the past could have been different, and that I could have ended up not lonely. I am very, very lonely."

He let out an exaggerated sigh before ditching his cleaning supplies and joining Dade on the couch.

"In a way, this whole me-helping-you-with-this-writing thing is my way of... correcting things. Achieving closure and junk." It was tempting to say that Moff really wasn't being much help with the "writing thing" so far, as all he had contributed so far was 'constructive' criticism. Still, Dade pressed on.

"Really? You mean, you aren't just in it for your part of the prize money?"

"Really. Though the money was an unexpected bonus." Together they leaned back, watching the fan twirl in circles repeatedly. There was something relaxing about seeing it turn over and over, an unforeseen comfort in not engaging in conversation, just letting the fan blow for a few minutes. For the first time, silence wasn't uncomfortable between them; it was welcomed.

However, Dade felt the need to ask one more thing. The one question he had been dreading to ask himself, let alone say out-loud:

"What if... he doesn't like me back?" His voice cracked involuntarily. He hoped that Moff wouldn't point it out.

"Who, now?" Dade glanced at him before doing a double take. How could he be so utterly clueless sometimes?

" _Harvey._ "

Moff nodded, proceeding as per usual. "Oh, yes, him. Life will go on. Sure it'll will be sad and lonely, but it will still progress."

"That doesn't make me feel better," Dade replied flatly.

"Well, what do you want me to say? I'm just being honest."

Dade hesitated. The question was on the tip of his tongue, yet he was unsure if he'd like the answer to it. "Do _you_ think he might like me back?"

"There's only one way to find out." He reached over onto the coffee table and retrieved the notebook.

"It's time to write that poem."


	5. The Divide

Today was the day that would either be the best in Dade's entire life or the worst.

There really was no middle ground.

After just barely finishing the poem with Moff's assistance before the deadline, Dade did nothing but wait in anticipation. It was soon announced to all the submitters that the award ceremony would be held right outside the steps to Littlebark Library.

The attendees all clustered together, a clamor rising out of everyone speculating who would be awarded with what. Dade kept his distance, sometimes thumbing the poem in his pocket or scouring the crowd every now and then for a familiar face (or rather… _his_ familiar face).

It soon struck him that he never actually informed Harvey of the competition... a vital part needed in order for his overall plan to succeed.

"Oh no, oh no oh no oh no," he murmured as he pushed his way through, worming past person after person. Did he even have enough time to seek out Harvey? It was only a matter of minutes before the winners were announced publicly and asked to go up and read! "Out of my way!," he huffed, jabbing a plethora of body parts to make a path. "I got something important to do!"

Dade felt his insides flip as he spotted a distinctly familiar blue face on the outskirts of the library's walls. Perhaps Fee had said something...?

He had made an attempt to go in Harvey's direction when all of a sudden, he felt two gloved hand seize him by the shoulders and spin him around. He was already panicked enough as it was! He really didn't need whatever was happening to him now-

"Dade! How are you feeling? Confident? Relieved?"

Dade felt his heartbeat return slightly back to normal, seeing that it was only Moff. "I feel like I'm about to die," he answered, deadpan.

Moff gave him a forceful 'reassuring' pat on the back, causing him to wince. "Ah, that's just the wimpy, _Old_ Dade speaking. The _New_ Dade is ready to receive his award money and be with the boy of his dreams, correct?"

Dade flushed. "I-I guess."

"You'll do great, my boy!," he assured once again. "I have an adequate amount of faith in you!" With that, Moff shoved him in the direction he was originally going in, propelling him through the crowd and head-first into Harvey. The forced knocked the two to the ground.

"H-HARVEY!" Dade exclaimed, hurriedly standing up and offering him a hand. "W-what were the odds of seeing you here, buddy? Pal? Bestie?"

Harvey ignored his blubbering and proceeded to take his hand while Dade lifted him up.

"Dade! There you are," he said, dusting the dirt off his shorts. "I heard about you entering the contest from Claire! I... haven't really seen you around the past couple of weeks."

Dade fumbled with an explanation other than ' _I realized I have an unbelievably huge crush on you that I've misinterpreted as wanting to be your best friend all these years and seeing you would just make things more awkward'._ "Y-yeah, that's cause I was... busy. With the poem and all."

Harvey nodded understandingly, seemingly buying his sort-of-true-but-not-really alibi. "I totally get that. Sometimes, I spend so much time cleaning my bedroom that I don't even realize that I haven't even eaten lunch yet!"

 _Oh Harvey, you innocent beautiful soul you,_ Dade thought. That comparison was so naive it made his knees slightly weak.

There was so much more Dade wanted to say to him, so much he wanted to explain and yet he knew he would get the opportunity at any moment now.

Harvey appeared as though he had more to say too, but was interrupted by the screeching of a mic connecting to speakers.

"Attention everyone!" a female voice announced. "We're about to announce the award winners for our Annual Littlest Littlebark Writers Contest!" Dade turned to see a deer woman take a note card out of her coat pocket.

"Sponsored by Randl's Rentals: _Where You can rent a Half-eaten Burrito for only 10 dollars!_ " she read off.

Harvey gave Dade's shoulder a small squeeze and beamed at him. Dade thought he'd just about faint right there. "Good luck, dude!" he whispered.

The deer announcer stepped off to the side, making room for the crotchety store owner and his _even more_ crotchety wheelchair-bound mother. "Now, here's Randl to read off the names of our wonderful award winners!"

Randl was in his usual attire except for a singular black bowtie around his neck. He took the note card from the woman and started reading where she left off. "Thanks, Judy. Man oh man, am I excited to read these results," he read, his tone devoid of energy. "First, our Honorable Mentions..."

He pulled an envelope and slowly ripped the top off, causing his mother to cover her ears exaggeratedly.

"Could you open that thing any _louder?_ To think, I took up three jobs to raise you proper-"

"Quiet, Ma," Randl hissed, putting his hand over the mic in a slapdash attempt for no one to hear. He glanced back at the audience, cleared his throat and feigned professionalism as he unveiled the names. "Gary, age 10... Marisa, age 8... Kathy, age 9..."

Dade's palms were sweatier than usual as he awaited the results. He nervously peeked over at Harvey, who was still _very_ much invested in the ceremony.

"...And Dade, age 9. Congratulations to all of our Honorable Mentions. You almost nearly succeeded but you didn't do good enough."

Hesitant applause rang out from among the hordes of gatherers. Dade let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding, but it sounded more like a strangled wheeze than a sigh of relief. The folded-up poem draft seared his hand as he removed it from his jacket's pocket.

On stage, Randl crumpled up the Honorable Mentions list and threw it casually behind him. "Now, for the grand-prize winner. Oh boy, it's getting tense in here. The atmosphere is electric."

Harvey turned to Dade, beaming. "Hey Dade, congra-"

Dade made immediate eye-contact with him, something he had been struggling to do for a while now. His expression must have been deadly serious, because Harvey's smile dropped in an instant. He looked intensely curious, as well as slightly concerned.

"I have something to tell you. In private."

Harvey blinked. "O-okay, then."

Taking him by the wrist, Dade pulled Harvey away from the audience (it wasn't very difficult to get out, considering they were more on the outskirts of the library's garden) and into the more wooded, secluded parts of Littlebark Park. Once he found the "right" place, away from prying eyes and with a log to sit on to boot, Dade reluctantly let go of his friend's wrist and unfolded the piece of paper.

"This is the poem I wrote for the contest, and was intending on reading it loud in front of everyone..." he started, looking down at his words. He looked up to meet Harvey's eyes.

"But now I think it's best just to read it to you."

Taking a seat on the mossy log, Harvey crossed his legs and kept his hands folded in his lap. His stance exuded politeness, Dade was keen to note. "You have my full attention," Harvey stated with a smile.

This was it. The moment that would make or break one of the most important relationships in Dade's life. He tried to the best of his abilities to control his body tremors.

He licked his lips. "A-alright, well then, here it goes..."

"Feelings"

 _by Dade_

 _That boy he had known year after year,_

 _now his feelings had become increasingly clear._

 _Friendship used to be the norm,_

 _till one day he realized he didn't conform._

 _How could one boy have everything?_

 _He had all that one person could bring,_

 _his optimism, his charm,_

 _how he could do no one any harm?_

 _That was a rarity,_

 _and it gave the other boy some clarity_

 _on what caused all of his austerity._

 _He didn't mean to gush,_

 _but it all came out in a rush,_

 _and now it's written: a poem about his first crush._

Dade's eyes were glued to the paper mere seconds after he read the final line when the poem was met with resounding (albeit, just Harvey's) applause. He glanced up in surprise. _He liked it?! Harvey_ really _liked it?!_ Dade felt like he was about to pass out, but for the first time in weeks, it wasn't from an overwhelming amount of anxiety; it was out of pure _joy._

Not just 'liked' it, apparently- Harvey was giving him a standing ovation! "Dade, that was great!" he exclaimed. "I can't believe you wrote it in like, a day!"

Dade's cheeks burned as he grinned. "You... you really liked it?"

"Heck yeah! I really liked how you rhymed 'clarity' with 'austerity'- I don't even know what either of those words mean!"

His smile faltered. How hadn't it sunk in for him yet? Dade was well aware of how oblivious Harvey could be, but he had no idea it was to this extent.

The poem was hastily shoved back into his pocket. He had the aching suspicion that Harvey wasn't going to catch on unless he actually _told_ him. "H-Harvey... That poem was about you," he explained. The fear he was convinced had vanished began to rear its' ugly head once again in his system.

Something changed for the briefest of moments- a flash of confusion in his eyes- before they gleamed once more. Dade's eyes were filled with panic. _Oh no, he really does_ not _get this. Bad bad bad, abort mission, ABORT MISSION-_

"You wrote me a poem? Oh wow! I really wasn't expecting... Should I write a poem about you? I didn't actually-"

Dade's stomach lurched as he felt himself lose all control of himself in a split-second. He felt like an outsider looking in as Not-Dade grabbed Harvey by the shoulders and shook him vigorously.

" _HARVEY!_ SHUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE FOR ONE SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME!" he yelled, trembling with anger. "I LIKE YOU! I L _IKE-LIKE_ YOU! IN THE ROMANTIC SENSE OF THE WORD!"

Harvey blinked, his expression unreadable. Dade wasn't sure if that was an indication that his words had registered in Harvey's brain or not.

"Huh?" Apparently not.

"OH, for crying out-"

For once in his life, Dade decided to ignore his logical side screaming at him, "GET OUT OF THERE, CARROTS-FOR-BRAINS! LEAVE WITH YOUR DIGNITY STILL _SOMEWHAT_ INTACT!".

He decided to not follow the rules.

Seizing the now-apparent love of his life by the shoulders, Dade dipped Harvey with a ferocity he barely ever used and kissed him on the lips with the confidence he never knew he had. It was, of course, brief, but also tender in a way Dade couldn't put words too. That was probably because he couldn't form words at the moment, period. He couldn't help but hope in that instant that maybe, _maybe_ there was a chance that he could salvage a happy ending out of this. Maybe after the two broke apart, Harvey would realize he had feelings for Dade this whole time but didn't realize it andthey'dlivehappilyeverafterwithoutanyproblemswhatsoever!

That fantasy was killed as soon as Dade opened his eyes to see Harvey.

Frazzled and horrified, Harvey took multiple paces away from him.

He understood _now._

"You're not... pranking me, are you?" he asked in one final attempt to rationalize the situation.

Dade did his best to ignore the sensation of paralyzing fear running cold through his bloodstream.

"No." His voice came out a lot weaker than he had intended it to.

Harvey's eyes darted around, as if he were able to fly and he was looking for a route of escape up in the trees. "I- I just remembered. It's Monday and my mom probably needs extra help with the dishes. I gotta go."

Whenever Dade took one step towards him, Harvey took two steps backwards. "Harvey, wait-"

Harvey suddenly swerved around to the direction of his house, wasting no time to get away from the situation. "Sorry, my mom needs help doing dishes," he said quickly, breaking off into full-on running now.

As if being rejected by your closest friend that you confessed your love for wasn't embarrassing enough, Dade could feel tears threatening to spill over on his face. He started cursing at himself with _actual_ curse words rather than the fill-in one's his mother used when she was upset.

"Harvey. _Please_ ," he croaked, reaching out to him one last time.

Harvey didn't turn around.

 **this chapter and the next one were originally gonna be the last chapter but i decided to break it up into two- because SUSPENSE! DRAMA! ANGST!**

 **next one will be the final-final chapter, i swear**


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